The agony of amateur athletics

So I broke my wrist on the friday before my first weekend of cross racing. I wasn't even doing openers or anything cool. I was just spinning around making sure my bike worked when I was passing a runner with a dog on a wet asphalt bike bath. When I passed, the dog lurched at me a bit so I reflexively turned and had my front wheel slip out. I picked myself up and rode another 30 minutes. At the time my wrist hurt, but I went off road and told myself that if bumps didn't hurt it couldn't be broken. At 2am that night, I was thinking about it very differently.

First thing in the morning I ate breakfast and told my 2-yr-old and mom that I needed to go to the ER. I figured I'd decrease my wait time by brining a box of baked goodies...which actually worked, since about an hour after going in, I was walking our with a diagnosis of a broken distal radius.

The funny thing about the first day or so was that I really seemed to take it in stride. Oh well. More beer and cookies and rest and not training. Then monday started.

Let's just say that my work and academic situation at the moment is highly stressful and full of incredibly stupid and frustrating bullshit. By 5pm monday, I was about ready to curl-up in a ball. Tomorrow however, does not hold an hour or two of riding on the trail. Wednesday, I'll be cooking dinner for my family while my BoCoMo buddies are out on the CX practice course. Next saturday, I'll do a trainer ride then eat dinner and watch a movie instead of racing Hermann.

Don't get me wrong about the direction in which my writing is leading me...I really love what I do professionally and I LOVE my family. But shit. Racing and training to race helps me cope! I feel so....normal when I'm pissed off at 5pm and don't want to cook dinner and don't get to ride tomorrow. Normal sucks. And my wrist hurts. Shit my wrist hurts. Maybe if i had cable and could zone out and focus on other people's problems. Maybe reality TV would help? If not, I'm sure Fox news would convince me that I have lots of people to blame besides my own ego-driven desires and the frustrations/suffering we all experience.

The honest assessment of the situation is that cross season in this country is too long anyway. And missing the first 4-6 weeks only means that I don't peak and then have to re-peak again. Instead, I'll have 8-10 weeks of focus, fun, friends, and fall to lead up to the racing that matters for those of us who value the 'glory' of amateur racing...jersey's and bragging rights and maybe , just maybe, beating a bunch of jerks on a sure-to-be-cold day in Wisconsin in January (aka the national championships the first week of January).