Sunday, April 3, 2011

Not waiting around

Friday night, Maggie and I went out with some friends and met some new ones for a couple of drinks. Our esteemed Kona rep was one of the new ones. He introduced me to one of the best blogs I've read in awhile: http://www.fastboycycles.com/teachingcancertocry/

Plus, he was a super fun dude with similar taste/choices in reading, bikes, lifestyle, and religion (or lack thereof).

Anyway, when I was in college I read the book Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. For a really long time, it was my favorite book. One of the things I took away, was the emphasis on making one's life a work of art in-and-of-itself. My older brother Lucas Miller has always embodied that for me...a father and husband who loves what he does:

yet at the same time has honestly grappled with some hard stuff.

The last year has brought me the challenge of frequently struggling with not feeling like my life's purpose is anywhere near completion. I've basically been on plan B from medical school (I'm doing research/PhD work at the moment) and have very mixed feelings about it, but remain convinced that given the state of my health where it stands, the journey is not worth the destination. And, one thing that I'm keenly aware of as a 31-year-old with a family and a disease that will likely one-day kill me, life is all about the journey. I feel off-track and I hate it.

Despite the stress of not knowing the results of the biopsy, this weekend actually ended up being quite excellent. I even got to race my mountain bike for the first time this year and ended up taking third place! That has got to be a good sign, right?

This is the way I feel,
A bit out of place:
and like whatever is going on in my body, I feel full of biological irony:

My weekend finished with me practicing my manicure skills:

6 comments:

Andy said...

You say it was your favorite book for a long time. What replaced it, or did your feelings about the book change? I don't understand the first picture, but the second made me laugh.

Trail Monster said...

Don't worry Dan...in time you will do nails like a pro! ;)

Scott said...

I saw the pictures of the MTB race and you were on a epic 26er. Thats awesome. Was that by choice or by default? How did the bike feel?

Other than that, hold your head high man. I have walked along side shoes like yours, but not in them. Your a tough person and you should be proud.

See you soon, Jerk(may 1st-ish).

Dan said...

Andy, I decided I'm smart enough to understand Joyce...Huck Finn replaced it.

The first pic: was a payphone in a crowded lobby with everyone on cell phones. It seemed out-of-place!

Sasha- I need lessons.

Scott- more or less default. I wanted to have something that wasn't a single speed, with a little cush, and I wasn't a fan of the cushy bike I had last year (I felt too little for it). This was a great deal, I just wish it were a Kona. Bike handles amazing, I feel snappier and faster on the descents. Ploch of course still crushes me on descents, and the 29ers carry more momentum on the sections where you can open-it-up, but I feel more confident on the little wheeled bike at this point. Maybe due to my petit figure?

Mason Storm said...

Crush it! Tiny wheels, big wheels, who gives a shit! Jerk of the highest order. Nice work last Sunday! Superior attitude,superior stat of mind!

Scott said...

I agree, Dan. The 26er is way more snappy and is far better through tight corners. I built my 29er epic for the breck 100. Love the bike, but wish it had smaller wheels.