Friday night, Maggie and I went out with some friends and met some new ones for a couple of drinks. Our esteemed Kona rep was one of the new ones. He introduced me to one of the best blogs I've read in awhile: http://www.fastboycycles.com/teachingcancertocry/
Plus, he was a super fun dude with similar taste/choices in reading, bikes, lifestyle, and religion (or lack thereof).
Anyway, when I was in college I read the book Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. For a really long time, it was my favorite book. One of the things I took away, was the emphasis on making one's life a work of art in-and-of-itself. My older brother Lucas Miller has always embodied that for me...a father and husband who loves what he does:
yet at the same time has honestly grappled with some hard stuff.
The last year has brought me the challenge of frequently struggling with not feeling like my life's purpose is anywhere near completion. I've basically been on plan B from medical school (I'm doing research/PhD work at the moment) and have very mixed feelings about it, but remain convinced that given the state of my health where it stands, the journey is not worth the destination. And, one thing that I'm keenly aware of as a 31-year-old with a family and a disease that will likely one-day kill me, life is all about the journey. I feel off-track and I hate it.
Despite the stress of not knowing the results of the biopsy, this weekend actually ended up being quite excellent. I even got to race my mountain bike for the first time this year and ended up taking third place! That has got to be a good sign, right?
This is the way I feel,
A bit out of place:
and like whatever is going on in my body, I feel full of biological irony:
My weekend finished with me practicing my manicure skills: