I'm not quite sure what to think about this race at this point. Between people being reprimanded for speaking their mind on the message board to the possibility that people are talking about this race in Colorado Springs, it just seems like a strange mess. I won't go into the details if you have no idea what I'm talking about, but between facebook and the message board, it just seems like there are positive ways to talk about bike racing and there are negative ways and unfortunately, the latter has prevailed this past weekend.
One thing is for sure though; I'm glad Maggie wasn't there. She probably would forbid me from bike racing ever again if she would have witnessed my fall on lap 2. Mike Weiss described it as just like "Joey's Crash" except "instead of my bike stopping and body flying, my body stopped and bike went flying". Honestly, I don't remember it at all. All I know is, I was leading going into a crazy bumpy downhill; I hit a rut and next thing I knew, I was running with my bike on my shoulder.
I could go on with my account of the race...how I felt, the events of the day and such, but for some reason it doesn't feel right.
A couple of months ago I wrote out my goals for cyclocross season. For whatever reason, pathological or not, I feel super driven and focused this year. The goals have changed, but the enthusiasm is still there. But I do find myself on the edge of getting enough family time. I really love this sport and like the whole atmosphere of fall and cross racing. I love that my friend Matt James helped me out immensely on sunday and fixed my bike for me and did a few hand-offs. I love that families and friend can pretty much see the whole course. I love that there's running. My cross country coach in college always encouraged us to run negative splits. That is what she considered a successful race. It has taken a long time to learn to pace myself in cross, but I'm finally starting to get it a bit.
Anyway, I was able to get the win sunday. It wasn't easy, but I'm excited to keep pushing myself and hopefully will start feeling smoother each week. Mike Dawson took lots of great shots. Being my blog, of course I'll just post the one's about me : )
My life this fall basically revolves around my family, immunology, cancer biology, and cyclocross. I wish there were time to watch the Cardinals, but I've been choosing to read and go to bed early. The gym where I lift has a great piece on the wall by a strength coach called "The Myth of Discipline", by Charles Poliquin.
Basically here is a paraphrase:
"There is no such thing as discipline. There is only love. Love is the most powerful creative force in the universe. You are the result of what you love most. You either love finely etched muscular abs more than donuts or you love donuts more than wash board abs you could do your laundry on (edit: yeah, he's a strength coach, but hopefully you get the point that this isn't just about bodybuilding or whatever). It is as simple as that. Self-esteem is the reflection of self-judgment. One of the best ways to raise self-esteem is to make truly loving choices that lead to increased strength of body and mind. When you are faced with difficult choices, ask yourself, in context of course, what would a loving expert recommend? When people comment on your results and say things like “Wow you have a lot discipline” answer “No, I just make loving choices for myself". Reinforcing your own positive behavior will help you grow in strength. What you appreciate appreciates. Whenever you make a truly loving choice, say to yourself ‘Thank you for taking care of me in a loving way”. The more you talk to yourself like a loving parent, the faster you will grow. Let’s say, for example, you just did a single on the squat with a load you didn’t feel like doing. Say: “Wow! I am impressed with your strength of mind, that’s why you are a champion”. By documenting and rewarding your successes, they will grow in magnitude and frequency. The more you believe in yourself, the more objectively you will be able to take the advice of authority figures."